You know you’re from Cincinnati if…
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You know you’re from Cincinnati if:
+ Instead of saying “what?” or “huh?” you say “please?”
+ Your favorite convenient store sounds like a labor union (United Dairy Farmers).
+ You can’t hear the words “Mike Brown” without getting angry.
+ You honestly believe that Pete Rose should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame.
+ You have more stadiums, coliseums, and arenas than you know what to do with.
+ You somehow have a soft spot for Marge Schott.
+ It doesn’t seem weird to you that everyone has an Uncle Al.
+ Your favorite Coney Island isn’t in New York.
+ You like Nick Clooney better than George Clooney.
+ You know how Jerry Springer got his start.
+ You know what a pony keg is.
+ You have friends and neighbors with names like Machenheimer, Guckenberger, Schlottman, Schoenling, and Schweitering.
+ You know what brats and metts are, and you’ve probably tasted goetta.
+ Someone mentions a three-way, and you think of chili instead of sex.
+ You know that cars (like eggs) are cheaper in the country.
+ You know that Cherokee Motors was located at 7505 Vine (where Paddock meets Vine at the big Indian sign).
+ An all-boys or all-girls school doesn’t seem that odd to you — (since there’s probably one in your neighborhood, and maybe you even went to it).
+ You think a mixed marriage is when an East Sider marries a West Sider or when someone from Northern Kentucky marries someone from ANYWHERE in Ohio, even if it’s someplace visible from the Kentucky shoreline.
+ You know the difference between Hudy and “Who Dey.”
+ You know what cream ale is, and you think that cream soda should be bright red.
+ Someone says “Norwood” and you automatically laugh — (unless you actually live there).
+ You can visit California, Lebanon, and Moscow — and go Over-the-Rhine -all in the same day.
+ You hate Cleveland (even though you’ve probably never been there).
+ You have to cross the Ohio River to see a strip show (or buy a Hustler magazine).(no longer true)
+ You think Kentucky is only slightly more civilized than Afghanistan.
+ You know in which state the Greater Cincinnati Airport is located.
NOTE ABOUT: “You like Nick Clooney better than George Clooney”.
My wife used to work at a department store in Cincinnati (called McAlpins) with George Clooney in the 1980’s. (My wife & I were in our 20’s at the time).
George worked there as a shoe salesman. At the time, George’s dad, Nick was the news anchor at WKRC TV. He had already been a celebrity for years in the Cincinnati area. To me Nick Clooney will always be a much bigger star than his son George and I don’t regard George as a “real” star at all. To me real movie stars are names like Robert Redford, Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Sean Connery, Clark Gabel, Charlton Heston, Yul Brynner, Betty Davis, Boris Karloff, etc
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