The Real Laws of the Universe

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Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you will have to pee.

Law of Gravity: Any tool, nut, bolt, screw when dropped will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases proportionally when you are with someone with whom you don’t want to be seen.

Law of the Result: When you try and prove a machine doesn’t work, it will.

Murphy’s Laws of the Locker Room: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have lockers immediately adjacent to each other.

Law of Physical surfaces: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on the floor, is directly correlated to the newness and cost of rug or carpet.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Wilson’s law of Commercial Marketing Strategy: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it or will change it.

The Coffee Law: As soon as you sit down to a hot cup of coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last long enough until your coffee is cold.

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