The Real Laws of the Universe
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Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you will have to pee.
Law of Gravity: Any tool, nut, bolt, screw when dropped will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases proportionally when you are with someone with whom you don’t want to be seen.
Law of the Result: When you try and prove a machine doesn’t work, it will.
Murphy’s Laws of the Locker Room: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have lockers immediately adjacent to each other.
Law of Physical surfaces: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on the floor, is directly correlated to the newness and cost of rug or carpet.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Wilson’s law of Commercial Marketing Strategy: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it or will change it.
The Coffee Law: As soon as you sit down to a hot cup of coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last long enough until your coffee is cold.
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